Day 10: My Holy Name

Text: Leviticus 22:-18

While there is a strangeness that separates us from a Holy God, we sense that it is not altogether unwelcoming. While the rigors of separateness keep us apart from Him who is perfect, we are given an invitation to draw near. We are drawn to God whose light exposes us, but embraces us in the warmth of His love. We find His all-encompassing purity - unblinking and unsparing - shows us what we are and how we stand in His presence, and yet we find Him here with us. He has not cloaked Himself and hid, nor turned away in disgust.

"All around us, to right and left, in front and behind, above and below, we have only to go a little beyond the frontier of sensible appearances in order to see the divine welling up and showing through. But it is not only close to us, in front of us, that the divine presence has revealed itself. It has sprung up universally, and we find ourselves so surrounded and transfixed by it, that there is no room left to fall down and adore it, even within ourselves.

By means of all created things, without exception, the divine assails us, penetrates us and moulds us. We imagined it as distant and inaccessible, whereas in fact we live steeped in its burning layers. In eo vivimus. As Jacob said, awakening from his dream, the world, this palpable world, which we were wont to treat with the boredom and disrespect with which we habitually regard places with no sacred association for us, is in truth a holy place, and we did not know it. " Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Day 9: Letting Go of Sin

Text: Leviticus 16: 20-22

The ultimate sacrifice not only carried our sins so that we are separated from it, but offered His own life so that we are eternally free from the debt of our sins.

Love, I have drawn from the scabbard the unsterile blade
that pierced your side,
as I cast my lot for your humble linen clothing.
Your terrible voice, rasping in pain, called forth a forgiveness unexpected, unasked.
And in the midst of strife and hatred, we have found you, t
he antidote of loathing that seemed to be our squandered inheritance.

Love, in the unquiet longings of my heart, in the wildness of my being, i
n the unruly dark side of me that I have tried so hard to push away,
to deny, repressing, I lay bloody, beaten, bowed.
In the quiet, steady rhythm of your heartbeat I have hushed
the fever of my soul, and my delirious agitation come to a stand still.

Love, your gentle presence, overflowing with a mercy,
unoffended by our trite and clichéd half-hearted attempts at praising you beguiles us.
We sway in the unforced cadence of your grace.
Our inner voices screaming with untold horrors finally turn into murmurs of adoration,
of raptures that are now our own.

Day 8: The Necessity of Sacrifice

Leviticus 4:32-35

The careful details of the where and the why of a sacrifice underline the seriousness of the act. You do not take it lightly, nor do you absent-mindedly go about the rituals of the sacrifice. Deliberate attention should be given. No details are too trivial or too little. In fact the very people chosen by God is distinguished from the rest of the world not only in their dietary requirements but also by the rigorous adherence to a law that points to a particular God that demands a certain way of holiness. This means that righteousness does not come without effort, or intention.

The intention of the sacrifice is for the forgiveness of sin. The intense prescription only emphasize the seriousness of sin. The cost of the forgiveness does not come cheap. The severity of our sins is matched by the painstaking details needed so that forgiveness can flow.

We thank God that the perfect, ultimate sacrifice has one and for all satisfied, quieted and fulfilled the demands of the law so that we are forgiven.
Thank you, Lord.

Day 7: Rest

Be still.

Be at rest.

Listen.

Let the noise of the world cease, and hear the sweetest music:

Day 6: God Reveals Himself

Exodus 33:21-34:7

There is something terrifying but fascinating in the idea of meeting God face to face. Something about God that will reduce us to what we really are – dust. Our human condition will not allow us to survive the presence of Him who is transcendent and powerful. We are terrified.

But like moth to a flame, we are drawn to Him. We know that in His presence is love, grace, patience and forgiveness. Something in us pines for a mere glimpse of His presence. We long to meet Him. We are fascinated.

And yet God in our encounters with Him makes sure that we are spared from being destroyed. He is a God who longs, and even makes sure that we know Him. He invited Moses to spend time with Him. And to do that, God makes sure that Moses survives the glory of God. He says, “I’ll cover you with my hand until I’ve passed by…”

This is the God we serve: holy, righteous, glorious. We will burn at the sight of Him. Our human nature cannot survive His presence. And yet, He makes sure we are not consumed. He covers us with His hands so that we do not burn in the presence of His holy light.

The God of the universe – all powerful, all wise – in His hands are the world and all that is in it. He is mighty. And yet so tender and so loving He touches us and does not destroy us. He reaches to us and we are not broken.

Day 5: The Bread God Has Given

Exodus 16:9-16

If there’s a list of things I can complain to God, it will be a long, extensive list. There are times when whining seem to be the only thing I can do, and of course I feel justified, because for all intents and purposes are valid. Childish behavior warranted by our deep needs – and admit it, sometimes complaining is a guilty pleasure we enjoy.

The Israelites grumbled. They complained about the heat, then the cold, then food. The amazing thing is that God listens to them. Nothing was too trivial, or childish before Him. He is so involved with the lives of the people He took care that meat and bread are provided. He is concerned that a pillar of clouds is there to bring shade to a people complaining about the heat, and a pillar of fire when they wanted warmth in the cold night.

Much can be said about the character of the ungrateful, crabby Israelites, but more can be said about the generosity and the patience of He who provides what is enough. In His own ways, and in His own time, God provides. He is a God who gives what is needed. He is a God who tenderly prepares the provisions we desperately need.

And when He provides, rest assured it is enough. We do not need to fear about tomorrow. We rest in His “enoughness.” He is
in control. He will provide.

Day 4: Learning to Pay Attention

Text: Exodus 3:1-6

We long to experience God in some spectacular way – to find Him in the most extraordinary way. We tend to equate encounters with God with something that leaves us awestruck like flashes of brilliance. And when they occur, they leave us speechless. The vividness of beauty, the genius of thought, the flowing, graceful movements allows us to be transported somewhere transcendent. We are lifted to a place we have not been before, or rarely ever reach. And so we treasure these special times. We like to remember them, for in the end, memories are all we have, and to stretch, to go back to that moment of great beauty, pleasure, and grace allows us to celebrate once more that fleeting slice of transcendence.

But life is not a series of brilliance. More often, they are common – mundane – ordinary. We have our routines. We have our rhythms. And we think that the muted colors of the ordinary do not cause us to celebrate. But to hear its subtle rhythms can bring magic too. Even the ordinary can bring joy, understated though it may be. Laughter, work, commuting, doing your grocery – simple, regular activities – these too can be avenues for the mystical, for the transcendent. These can be occasions for a deeper understanding of self, or our soul, of He who is above ordinary.

In fact, when you really think about it, a burning bush is nothing spectacular. An ordinary fire may have caused the dried up plant to be consumed. In the rural world of sheep, and ragged landscape, a burning bush is nothing to speculate about. I'm sure it was not the first time, or the only time a bush burned. Nothing above the ordinary.

But Moses looked.

He noticed something beyond the routine. The fire did not consume the bush. Had he not taken time to look, he would have missed that which is spectacularly amazing. He paid attention and noticed that something or Someone was being revealed. Moses saw beyond the routine and was able to encounter God. He was aware that in the midst of his routine, God is breaking through. And suddenly, the mundane has taken on a deep significance. Moses was transported beyond the ordinariness of his world, and is now standing on holy ground. The dusty, rocky places now glows with the presence of God.

Let us learn to be fluent in the subdued language and whisperings of our ordinary life. There may be aspects of our lives we often take for granted: our family, our friends, our work, the very world we belong in. When we neglect them, we may miss the opportunity to see the most beautiful of all. Our routines – our lives – they maybe ordinary, but they too are sacred - for at the very heart of it, at its core, when all is stripped and all is laid bare, we can find the most brilliant of all: Him

"Listen to your life. see it for the fathomless mystery that it is. in the boredom and pain of it, no less than in the excitement and gladness. taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis, all moments are key moments and life itself is grace." Frederich Buechner

Day 3: A Picture of Forgiveness

Text: Genesis 50:15-21

Nothing about the act of forgiveness is natural or logical. It defies the notion of fairness and justice. Imagine being betrayed by your siblings – imagine being sold as a slave – imagine being accused and incarcerated for a crime you did not commit. If anyone had the right to a seething, scalding hot hatred towards those who wronged him, it would be Joseph. I would understand if he would become bitter, or vengeful, or angry towards those who wronged him. It would make sense if Joseph would exact justice at long last from the culprits who are now under his mercy.

But Joseph goes against nature. He defies logic by offering forgiveness – by offering a perspective that allowed him to overcome the pain, and the desire for revenge. He simply said, “Don’t be afraid. Do I act for God? Don’t you see – you planned evil against me but God used those same plans for my good…”

This profound understanding of the nature and character of God takes away the bitter poison of anger and resentment. Joseph had a perspective that transcended the evil done to him. He rested in a God who is not only a God of justice, but a God of good intentions and benevolence. While recognizing the harm intended for him, Joseph saw God is able to circumvent it so that good comes out. Joseph could have stayed and grown old in the loving embrace of his father, or he would become a mighty ruler of Egypt (but in order to do that he had to undergo the pain of the evil plans of his siblings). In the end, God was able to give Joseph the best.

“Lord – as I remember those that did evil to me – and the temptation to exact revenge or partake the bitter brew of resentment overcome me – may I learn to look beyond the pain of my situation, and see with new perspective Your ways, and Your purposes.”

Day 2: Wrestling in the Night

There are times when all we could do is wait. Wait in the cover of darkness – the nocturnal noises and the coldness of the night our companion. In the brook of abundance we remain thirsty and desperate. There will be times when all we have are the wild beatings of our heart, and a hunger and a thirst for the blessing that can only come from Him whom all blessings flow.

We wait until the moment comes for us to reveal our deepest, most desperate desires of our heart, and when we see the opportunity we grab hold of it and never let go. Jacob held on with ferocity – with such desperation – for the blessing of God. We expose our hearts to Him who alone can grant its most intimate and despondent pleas.

And we do not fear, for He whom we expose our hearts to – to Him whom we hold with vise-like grip – to Him whom we cling to as if holding on to life itself – He is not threatened, or weakened by our need. He is strength. In Him there is blessing.

We do not worry, for He is strong enough to carry our burdens – lift us up in our weakness. We do not disgust Him. He does not shirk back in – but sees us in our shameless act of begging for His blessing. And in the end, at the break of the morning, we shall declare, “I saw God face to face, and lived to tell the story!”

Day 1: Desire for Reconciliation

Text: Genesis 3:1-10

We are living in a messed up world. We are messed up. Our rebellion against God has separated us from Him. And deep within us, we have felt the wound of our separation. And no matter how we try to cover it up, or pretend as if there is nothing wrong, we feel the throbbing of the loss we bear. Deep inside us is a wound. It is a wound that never heals, never goes away. There will be no ointment or oils that can completely mend it. It is a wound that is always with us. It haunts us like itching phantom limbs that has been amputated. For this is what has caused the wound – an amputation. We have been reduced to something far less than we were. Our sins have separated us - has torn us away from Him who desires to be in fellowship with us. We are suffering a cataclysmic separation - a violent tearing that has left us keeling with the loss.

But it was we that had been cut off. And this wound we carry reminds us we are far from where we have come from. Our wound remembers we were whole once, and so we are left with this longing for completeness, this desire to be made whole, but try as we might, we cannot find fulfillment here. We will not find healing for this wound, until that day when we shall be made whole once more. Until then, we wait, and hope.

UpGazer begins...

I just got a devotional by Eugene Peterson. It's called "The Message//Remix: Solo." This is what the blurb says, "The devotional you hold is unique. It isn't designed to teah you to study the Bible, but rather to develop a conversation between you and God. The devotions founds in Solo are based on the classical method of lectio divina: reading, thinking, praying and living Scripture with the intention of inviting an infinite, omniscient God into your life - as it is, no gloss, no veneer."

This blog is a record/journal of my journey as I use this material for the next 365 days.